no more ballet folklorico

i left for new things to live
i know it's gonna be better
from now on

for you

you the you know who (not the one who must be no named)

you yeah you

old new years resolutions (2015)

some of my Last year's resolutions were to get a job and meet new people and somehow i managed to acomplish that with help of facebook and the facebookers so thank you everyone for always reading and watching my video rambles, thank you for helping me out, god bless you all and your magnificient shiny souls for being that pacient and not unfriending me yet<3 the only resolution that remained unfullfilled was the physical store for the Alunie's project, tho i did take the store to another city so i don't think it was a total unacomplish resolution. anyways. here it is to the new resolutions this time i'm gonna be more ambitious and write down everything i want to do. i won't make a video about it because i'm gonna be talking about all of this thought the year as i did last year. okay here i go. 

1- to be unnapologetic about the things i say and do. and i mean every single little thing.
2- to move out, alright this should have been #1 let's count it as #1 priority. okay.
3- to find a better way to earn money throught designing and painting because why the hell aren't i millionare yet? okay i'll be millionare this year.
4- to stop neglecting painting and designing because i'm really good at it and the world needs what i do, all of it, forever, to the end of my time.
5- to stop thinking about me turning 30 this year and society telling me i'm finished as a woman also to remember that i can always be a man in that case. lol. stupid society you have no idea what you're dealing with here.
6- to have a booth in some local convention as an illustrator this time and to do some painting at the convention, wouln't it be cool guys? like really cool.
7- to dress up more and improve make-up skills also cosplay skills and maybe this year start the pin-up project i've been planning since last year.
8- to actually make all the effing cosplays i've planned to do and to stop listening to mean shitty comments of muggles.
9- to make more and better videos for youtube and to start that other channel with that other concept i've been planning since last year.
10- To fully acomplish every of these resolutions, as i did acomplished last year ones, also to make more plans after every goal acomplished.
11- To speak 100% french or at least 80% and to keep learning japanese, specially more kanjis and to do more writing also.
12- To love myself even more and to keep on not giving a shit about what people says or does to me like i did last year. thank you 2014 you were great.
13- To meet more people in person as i did last year, to keep on trying to get along with everyone even if they put me down and specially when they put me down, to grow stronger and learn to take people out of my life more easily and faster.
14- To learn and accept that it's okay to be bananas if i'm working in a creative field, the crazier the better, plus i'm the good kind of crazy the creative type of crazy, the world should thank me for using my superpowers for good, instead of plotting world domination through a nuclear war or something.

15- to date more, and to say yes to every dating proposal, also to start accepting teenagers dating proposals? xD i'm kidding, not offense to 19 year old kids but they're not that interesting, i said no offense kids. tho lately they have been really respectful about their proposals like they don't ask for sex anymore they only ask me if i want a boyfriend haha little precious babies, i think they're learning after all, maybe they're growing up.

16- To keep on dreaming and hoping and wishing as much as i can about everything always. Also to watch more anime and sci-fi stuff cause last year didn't really feel like watching anime. let's make this one of a hella anime year. anime is awesome and if you think it's not, then you're wrong.

17- To remember that i'm learning every day and probably will keep on learning my entire life so it's ok. if i don't think like this at the end of the year, or next week, or next month.

18- To draw more portraits of asian idols because they're gorgeous and they look so delicate and cute and girly and perfect. Also to dance more k-pop and t learn more choreographies.

19- To acknowledge the fact that i probably have written way more resolutions than the ones i'm going actually make happen this year, but it's ok. because after all i am aiming to be more ambitious this year and leave everyone breathless with my presence.

20- To make everyone in the world to acknowladge the fact that i'm the queen of everything forever and i won in the game of life and everyone else can go home now, i also thought that maybe there are people reading this and thinking that they want to be part of my life now because i'm amazing and drop dead gorgeous and they're probably thinking how awesome i am but you know what? they are completely right because i'm the best thing ever existed in space and time and i won at everything forever. bye.


and it seems i will not learn a bout my mistakes, aboiding situations it's not good for me but you know what i do leaarn sometimes it's not the best way to face challenges but i know i keep on trying and someday soon it's gonna be all good despite de fact the it looks so blurry the horizon it's coming to a plae better and brither and i know i can face anything and everything and i should not be giving any steps back but it's ok if i do anyway because i know i will rise again stronger and better

the one

he invades everything
all things are done for him and because of him
but that guy doesn't show up
i can't see him
where are you
let me see you
if you care as you say so


i hate you as much as i love you
you the one that remains after all
you the one who cares but don't care at all
you the one that make crazy ezquizophrenic
you the one that i made up
you the you i've made up


nothings fine i'm pissed i'm so jelous and angry and i have to fake smiles and say congrats it's great but it's not at least not for me i hate them so much

I dwell in Possibility

I dwell in Possibility — (#466)
by Emily Dickinson

I dwell in Possibility —
A fairer House than Prose —
More numerous of Windows —
Superior — for Doors —

Of Chambers as the Cedars —
Impregnable of eye —
And for an everlasting Roof
The Gambrels of the Sky —

Of Visitors — the fairest —
For Occupation — This —
The spreading wide my narrow Hands
To gather Paradise

blog #11

they say nothing extraordinary has ever come out the confort zone and believe me i'm trying i have been trying for a while now and it feels good at times not so good other times but at the end i'm pretty sure everything it's going to be worth it every effort every scary situation a put myself in everything will be settled peaceful and wonderful


i wish no more i act i do i become we are our thoughts that's what i've heard and if that's true then amazing things are comig in the future.

For when you want to read me.

For when i linger no more in this place and by saying this i dont mean anything existential or religious or methaphorical i simply mean this bedroom i will no longer be trapped or held against my will anywhere tho i cannot expect to be truly free because in this society is anyone truly free anyway?

For when you become who you truly are and you embrace it nothing can stop you from getting to your next destination.

For when life gives you lemons and you didn't request them you give life their unrequested lemons back and go get whatever the fuck makes you happy and you actually want if it isn't fucking lemons don't stick to them why the fuck would you stick to them when you want oranges?

For when you start a journey and you don't quite know the destination it may take you a little longer than expected to get there.

For when you know your destination but you journey seem heavier and longer than you first expected it to be.

blog #10

it's a rainy day today there's no school for me and anyone else it's a hurricane alert what we're living so here we are enjoying this time thought there's a hurricane alert everything is going well there was no internet in the morning but now it's back in bussiness so no worries

what else am i supposed to do if there's no school today

blog #9

i'm back to school after 2 week vacation break and it's as hard as ever we'll see how i figure out things this time i'm thinking about to read more and draw draw draw

back to school

Today is my first day back to school so far so good we'll see what the university world brings to me tomorrow on day two but yeah it's good to see faces i like and i feel comfortable being around of also there was no water at the cafeteria what's up with that? it's the middle of the summer still you know i have this theory that the freshmen kids bought it all and there was no water left for anyone else lol

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