the one

he invades everything
all things are done for him and because of him
but that guy doesn't show up
i can't see him
where are you
let me see you
if you care as you say so


i hate you as much as i love you
you the one that remains after all
you the one who cares but don't care at all
you the one that make crazy ezquizophrenic
you the one that i made up
you the you i've made up


nothings fine i'm pissed i'm so jelous and angry and i have to fake smiles and say congrats it's great but it's not at least not for me i hate them so much

I dwell in Possibility

I dwell in Possibility — (#466)
by Emily Dickinson

I dwell in Possibility —
A fairer House than Prose —
More numerous of Windows —
Superior — for Doors —

Of Chambers as the Cedars —
Impregnable of eye —
And for an everlasting Roof
The Gambrels of the Sky —

Of Visitors — the fairest —
For Occupation — This —
The spreading wide my narrow Hands
To gather Paradise

blog #11

they say nothing extraordinary has ever come out the confort zone and believe me i'm trying i have been trying for a while now and it feels good at times not so good other times but at the end i'm pretty sure everything it's going to be worth it every effort every scary situation a put myself in everything will be settled peaceful and wonderful


i wish no more i act i do i become we are our thoughts that's what i've heard and if that's true then amazing things are comig in the future.

For when you want to read me.

For when i linger no more in this place and by saying this i dont mean anything existential or religious or methaphorical i simply mean this bedroom i will no longer be trapped or held against my will anywhere tho i cannot expect to be truly free because in this society is anyone truly free anyway?

For when you become who you truly are and you embrace it nothing can stop you from getting to your next destination.

For when life gives you lemons and you didn't request them you give life their unrequested lemons back and go get whatever the fuck makes you happy and you actually want if it isn't fucking lemons don't stick to them why the fuck would you stick to them when you want oranges?

For when you start a journey and you don't quite know the destination it may take you a little longer than expected to get there.

For when you know your destination but you journey seem heavier and longer than you first expected it to be.

blog #10

it's a rainy day today there's no school for me and anyone else it's a hurricane alert what we're living so here we are enjoying this time thought there's a hurricane alert everything is going well there was no internet in the morning but now it's back in bussiness so no worries

what else am i supposed to do if there's no school today

blog #9

i'm back to school after 2 week vacation break and it's as hard as ever we'll see how i figure out things this time i'm thinking about to read more and draw draw draw

back to school

Today is my first day back to school so far so good we'll see what the university world brings to me tomorrow on day two but yeah it's good to see faces i like and i feel comfortable being around of also there was no water at the cafeteria what's up with that? it's the middle of the summer still you know i have this theory that the freshmen kids bought it all and there was no water left for anyone else lol

blog #8

gradebook it's here
and guess what?
i got A+ in every assignament i took 
can you believe it?

blog #7

i don't know what i'm waiting for to be honest i seem to be stuck and the worst part is i know i can do it i know i'll do it but this feeling of this is too much for to handle how do i make it dissapear cause it's drains my enery and i just don't know anymore what to do what to think what waht waht.

Put me out of my misery

hurry up, come see me! (please)
"hurry up, come see me"
Wrote on August 3, 2016 at 11:10 PM 

i've found my soulmate the conditions are still not perfect for me and him to be together but i'll make them perfect he'll make them perfect we'll find a way to be happy and to be together forever we have done it before we'll do it this time as well. i have gone back to school also i'm studying visual arts which if you ask me it's pretty awesome, i'm ok with most of the things i have seen until now but sometimes it's hard and it's a long way to go also but i know i can make it, i'll graduate this time for the best for the good.

blog #6

i'm seeing the psychologist tomorrow i havent done the homework she asked me to do one month ago what am i gona tell her?

blog #5

i didn't go to school today didnt go to the psychologist neither i was just dying why i still dont know probably because of that idiot probably.

i've been thinking what can i do to forget if before i forgot him why can't i do do it now? i'm thinking also about his book and if i'm ready to let it go or to write it already if he hurts if everything about him hurts i should use it exploit it until theres nothing else until it doesn't hurts anymore or i get used to this pain because it turns my world upside down from the nothingness and i feel so helpless i hate feeling that sadness wins over everything in my life.

blog #3.9

one month into school almost and it feels so unreal still when reality is gonna come and hit me i don't know i just hope it doesn't make me tumbl and fall please be gentle dear future.

blog #3

it's a horrible day it's windy and kind of cold i havent gone to school again today i'm waiting for my father to come back with the car.. he just arrived but it's too late to go i'll wait until next class at 11:00.

what do you want from me i dont understand i know nothing about anything i just want everything to be over that would be fine everything to be over forever i dont know what to do what to think what to say what.

i dont want to see him again but i know i cant help it he is gonna come and again and again everytime is more difficult it's harder to tell him good bye and he doesnt care he doesnt care at all i dont want him to come and see me again please make him stop forever.

blog #2

didnt go to school again today one of thee teachers called in sick so i had only one class to attend but i didnt go i couldnt do it i tried im lying i didnt try neither i feel so helpless it's frustrating to see from the outside what is going on.

blog #1

Today i went to the therapist and she gave me lots of work to do at home mean while i see her again in two more weeks so i have homework to do my sister and nephews are helping too i missed school yesterday i regret i didnt go but today i gaained some courage and decided to go school tho i'm still feeling down, therapist says it's too early for me to be bored at school i have been there less than 2 weeks and i wanted to quit already what am i going to do what i have to do i know it it's finishing my degree and getting a masters degree later on in japan or some other foreign country.

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